research that hits home
This post is a continuation of last week's post on the first four elements of the Positive Caregiving Checklist. This week we're picking up with the next two items on the checklist: Encourage Development and Advance Behavior.
ENCOURAGE DEVELOPMENT
Development encompasses many things. As a physical therapist, I am trained to help children with their gross motor or movement development. But language development, social development and fine motor development all fit here too. For me, all of development is about providing an environment that supports exploration, trial and error, and learning from successes and failures. Like any protective parent, I don't want my children to get hurt, nor do I especially like my house getting messy. But I try to remind myself that allowing my kids to make messes and make mistakes is part of teaching them how to be competent and independent. It's also incredibly freeing to see how little they care about the mistake or the mess. They are happy just exploring and being. What a lesson for us grown-ups!
encourage development:
my daughter's "patients"
Another aspect of encouraging development is supporting our children's interests. Recently, my daughter began expressing interest in visiting the hospital down the street from where we live. She's had a doctor's kit for some time and enjoys administering to her dolls and stuffed animals, so the request wasn't totally out of left field. Last Saturday, we got in the car and drove to the hospital. We explored the pedestrian bridge, saw doctors in white coats wearing stethoscopes, talked about why lungs give out and some people need supplemental oxygen, and peeked in the window of the wig shop in the cancer hospital. Then we ate lunch in the cafeteria. I have no idea who or what my daughter will be when she grows up, but I want to help her figure it out.
Advancing behavior
encouraging friendship is part of positive caregiving.
ADVANCE BEHAVIOR
This item really speaks to advancing a child's social behavior. Things in this category include teaching a child the right ways to interact with others (i.e., don't pull the dog's fur, don't bite people) and also helping them develop relationships. This can be somewhat challenging in a family of introverts. My daughter is of the age where there are birthday parties several times a month. Part of me finds this exhausting--even though I appreciate bonding with other parents--but I also recognize that helping my children foster their friendships is crucial to their happiness. I also try to work hard to foster a spirit of love and cooperation between my son and daughter. My sibling relationship is one of the longest relationships of my life, and though my brother lives very far away, he was a lifesaver in my growing up years. One of my favorite podcasts (Happier) is hosted by two sisters, author Gretchen Rubin and TV writer Elizabeth Kraft. They once shared that, when they were young women without much disposable income, their parents would pay for any trip that involved one of them going to visit the other. I immediately recorded this on my mental list of "Great Parent Advice for the Future." What a brilliant idea for building a close relationship between siblings!
Do you have great ideas for incorporating positive caregiving into your family's life? Post a comment and share with other readers!
