quality time
moments that matter
Recently, I met with Mary, a career-long early education teacher and childcare center director, to discuss how childcare providers could be better served by physical therapists. We talked about a number of things and, at the end of a great conversation, I asked her if she had any tips for parents to help them reduce stress in the early years of raising a family. She thought for a moment, and then she said...
"Do Less"
"What do you mean?" I asked her. "
"Well, you know," she said, "Parents are always rushing around, taking their kids to this practice, and that lesson. Kids don't need all that, and it's just stressful for everyone." Huh, I thought, do less. That's a New Year's Resolution I can get behind.
I see this advice reflected in my daughter's Saturday morning preferences. When I ask her what she wants to do, the items on the top of her list are to stay in her pajamas and stay home. Clearly, she shares some of her parents' introverted tendencies. But I think, like us, she's also just fried. She's been in childcare all week, and on the weekend she just wants to be in her space and with her people.
The Lure of Busy
When I ponder the things that drive us to find "activities" for our kids, I must confess that most often, it's not really enrichment that we're seeking. Sometimes I recognize that my kids are going stir crazy and we need a trip to the park or the woods by our house. But often, I seek out activities because I'm either bored or boring (as in, I can't think up fun things to do with them). My kids are young, and not yet at ages when they can entertain themselves for hours. That requires a lot of creativity and energy on our parts, and trying to come up with fun things to do all the time can be pretty challenging come Saturday afternoon. They're also in the phase where the things that entertain them aren't always entertaining to me. My son, for example, would be pleased as punch to have me hold him up to the light switch so he can turn it on and off for an hour straight. Cuddle master that he is, that eventually becomes pretty dull for mama.
embrace
boring
Embrace Boring
But maybe that is my issue. Maybe I need to work on being more present in the moment. Even if the moment means rediscovering the miracle of electricity for the next hour. As a working parent, I am constantly on the go, speeding from one "must-do" to another. Doing nothing, as blissful as it sounds, actually feels a little uncomfortable after a week racing around. But I also recognize that slowing down is something we all really need.
Embrace Creativity
As much as we long for them all through the work week, these long weekend days with our children can feel especially challenging when it's cold outside. The respite of the sandbox and the water table and a cup of coffee in the camp chair are somewhat out of reach when there's snow on the ground. It forces us, as parents, to be even more creative and even more engaged. (Who knew doing less would take so much effort?)
Below is one idea I came up with for an active, indoor, un-boring thing to do with my kids. Feel free to adapt it as you'd like, or follow the up/down suggestions to tailor it to a younger or older child. And remember, the next time you feel pressured to pack your kids in the car to do something awesome, the awesomest thing might be right in front of you...in pajamas and messy hair.
treasure hunt
a "do" for a day inside
Treasure Hunt
1. Choose one wrapped holiday present and hide it. (For a younger child, "hide" the toy somewhere fairly obvious, but make sure they have to do some climbing, crawling or walking to get to it. For an older child, make the hiding spot extra clever.)
2. Distribute clues throughout your house and lead your child from room to room. For younger children you could use photos or drawings of spots in the house OR choose "clues" that name rooms in the house to help your little one learn these words.
"Who knows where the next clue will be. Santa thinks it's where you pee."
3. For extra physical activity, suggest ways to move from one clue to another. For a younger child, demonstrate the moves. For older children, give them choices about how to move from room to room.
"To our next clue we must hop, and in the kitchen we will stop."
4. Once the child finds their "treasure" ask them to "bury it" (hide it) and draw a treasure map showing where it can be found again.
5. If your child likes the activity, this can be repeated for as many presents as you'd like. If you really want to get into the spirit of the thing, you can make telescopes out of paper towel rolls, create eye patches with black construction paper and string or ribbon, and pirate it up.