Good Problems to Have
In recent weeks, a few events have conspired to lead me to recommend this week’s book review. I got really sick (virus or food poisoning--not too sure) and was forced to slow way, way down. I realized that I’d been pushing myself--at home, at work, even in my hobbies. So I’ve been sleeping in. This has meant, unfortunately, that I lose my time for writing during the week. On the positive side, I’ve felt so much healthier and so much better rested. It was--no pun intended--a wake-up call that I need to just sleep, rest, and store up energy.
Luckily, the awfulness passed in about 24 hours and our baby (who is due in a matter of days) seemed to weather the storm just fine. Bringing me to the next event on the horizon: the imminent birth of my second child and first son. Having had one child not that long ago, we are extremely aware of how much our life is about to be turned upside down. It’s easy to feel a sense of dread (dread that overwhelms the sense of joy) about what’s to come: labor and delivery; sleepless nights; and a disruption of our happy three plus dog.
Coincident to all of this, a number of people in my life are currently struggling with child and health-related issues. Two friends are struggling--unsuccessfully, so far--through multiple rounds of IVF. One is dealing with the return home of her adult son (who is nonverbal and has a very severe type of autism) from his group home setting because of repeated injuries. Another is coping with a pancreatic cancer diagnosis at age thirty-eight...with an infant.
The last and final piece--which at first will not seem related at all--is that I came across a blog (via Pinterest) called Money Saving Mom. In April, the author (Crystal Paine) described her month-long cleaning project. Each day in April, she cleans out a different part of her house. As she shared her daily cleaning projects, she also describes her daily schedule. Most mornings she starts the day with reading the Bible, followed by exercise (she’s a runner). For a few days, I couldn’t figure out why these daily posts were so addictive. Yes, I’m a neat freak. Yes, I love reading stuff about tiny, minimalist houses and huge organizing purges and simplifying (some people read People magazine; I read about clutter-busting. To each her own). Finally, it dawned on me: I’m not a practicing Christian, or a Bible reader, but the thought of starting each day in contemplation...that was it! That was what was so appealing.
Over the past few months, I’ve put a few practices into place...uh...sort of mindlessly. I’ve started noting--nearly every day--some things I’m grateful for. This is a habit I’ve tried to pick up a couple of times but, for some reason, it’s actually stuck this time. I can say that it has really helped me to see my life in a more positive light. If I had to guess, I would say the biggest reason the habit has stuck this time is that my life is pretty darn good. Especially in light of the world as a whole, it feels pretty miraculous that we are healthy, happy, have money to pay the bills, and have a wonderful daughter that brings us truckloads and truckloads of joy. The only way I know how to deal with the fear of it all crumbling in some catastrophic event is to note it and savor it.
The other habit I’ve been working on is to be more intentional. This was something I thought about at the New Year. I really wanted to think more about how I was spending my time. Was I working toward goals I felt were important or was I frittering away my time (a book that influenced me on this note was Laura Vanderkam’s 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think)? Per Vanderkam’s recommendation, I try to set daily goals or intentions in three categories: Self, Family, and Work. Sometimes I have an overall intention for the day, like “Peace” or “Slow Down” or, lately, “Mindful.”
I think both of these habits have helped me to be more intentional and more grateful, in other words to pay better attention to my life and the people and experiences that comprise it. After reading MSM’s schedule, though, I realized I wanted to go deeper, and that if I did so, I would feel a greater sense of peace. The Bible didn’t really appeal to me as reading material, but I knew that other sources might. In the next few weeks I’m going to share reviews of the two books I’m concurrently reading on mindfulness.
Finally, I’ll share (I hope, I hope) some reflections from my Mindfulness Marathon. I go on maternity leave in two days. I decided that the next twelve weeks are the perfect time to attempt a mindfulness “retreat” of sorts: how can I be more mindful in the next few months? What areas of my life do I really want to focus on? Clearly, parenting our new baby (and our lovely daughter) are two biggies. So is keeping my relationship with my husband strong during this challenging period. As is keeping my own head on straight. Ambitious goals....let’s see how I do.
But here’s the thing I have to remember: I’ve got a healthy, beautiful child and another on the way. For now, both my husband and I are healthy. There will be moments in the very near future when I am exhausted and at the end of my rope, but I hope I can remember those are good problems to have.
Thumbnail image "Woman Reading" from New York Public Library Digital Collection.