If Mama Ain't Happy, Ain't Nobody Happy
This week's Maternity Mindfulness Marathon challenge has been about self-care. During maternity leave for my daughter two years ago, I failed miserably at this and became extremely rundown. I got two separate infections, including mastitis, and in general was exhausted and irritable most of the first 6 months of her life. Research also suggests that maternal fatigue can be a contributing factor in post-partum depression.
A list of recommended herbs/foods to improve breast-milk production
This time around I want to do better. My first guideline for better self-care is to continue meditating for 10 minutes every day. This resolution alone will, I feel, help me maintain all the others for the ensuing 12 weeks (now 11--Wow, it's going by quickly!). I also want to make sure I keep up with the basics: 1) eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day and (2) taking a shower and brushing my teeth every day. While these may seem like unambitious goals, it can be easy to forget to prioritize such crucial but important activities when a newborn is crying/screaming for your attention in that particularly eardrum-shattering way that newborns can. My next resolution, following closely on the heels of the one before it, is not to rush. If the baby is crying and he's safe, fed, dry, clothed or very imminently about to be one of those things, it's OK to let him cry for a few minutes. After all, waiting teaches patience, separation teaches independence, and struggle,--even a 5-minute one--teaches coping skills. (Worry not, other resolutions for MMM focus on being more mindful and responsive to my children.) This time around, I promise to allow myself a few minutes to take care of myself--even if the baby is crying or our toddler is demanding something “right now”--before I leap to their assistance. Next, I want to give myself rewards for successfully making it through each week as a diaper-changing feeding machine on little sleep. I skipped last week, so I'm due 2 rewards this week...I think a few brainless magazines might do the trick. Another big one? I promise to nap whenever I can. This probably sounds like a no-brainer, but as "doer" it can be really hard for me to settle when I see tasks to be accomplished (like writing a blog, say). But rationally, I know there's no medicine like sleep. It keeps me healthier, and it keeps me nicer. It makes me a better person, wife and mother. It imbues me with patience, a vital attribute these days.
one of my rewards: i'm not leaving the house but I can live vicariously!
Lastly, I wanted to make sure I am doing everything I can to make breastfeeding successful. With my daughter, I breastfed for four months. I wanted to make it at least six months but couldn't, for a variety of reasons. A lactation consultant recommended the list of herbs etc, pictured above and I've included some that I'm using (though, to be honest, those alfalfa tablets are IMPOSSIBLE to swallow). This time I also picked up some gear that has been immensely helpful: a nursing stool and a firm nursing pillow and got a rocker that's narrower, allowing me to prop the nursing pillow comfortably on the armrests--no more frustrating, floppy Boppie and pillow constructions! Our pediatrician also recommended Pumpin' Pals for more success with pumping. I'm not totally sold on these yet, but am completely sold on using Vaseline to reduce skin tearing during pumping. The Vaseline recommendation has been huge, and it came from...my software engineer husband :)
