Mini(mal)me
Quality Time
Moments That Matter
In most ways, I’d call myself a minimalist. Seeing, having, or managing lots of STUFF stresses me out. Perhaps that’s why—like many others around the world—I’ve been so taken (read: binge-watching) the new Netflix show Tidying Up With Marie Kondo. While most home improvement shows or reality shows about people with ten storage units don’t appeal to me, this show does. I was first introduced to Marie Kondo, the star of Tidying Up through her books, The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up and Spark Joy. I’ve read both more than once.
Kondo, a tiny, perky Japanese woman, is clearly influenced by her culture of origin. She believes that possessions have a sort of spirit. As a result, she advises thanking items one is discarding, either for the purpose they have served or the lesson they have taught. She’s also a master at folding in ways that take up less space, while making everything visible—surely a result of growing up in a country with limited space. But I think Kondo’s most useful insight is to think about what to keep in our lives rather than what to get rid of. Her guideline is to hang onto things that spark joy.
I love this notion. It makes cleaning and disposing of things so much easier (and so much less guilt-ridden), but I also love that it accepts two ideas that we, as Americans, seem to have trouble marrying: Things can bring us pleasure and even happiness, but at the same time, too many things—especially those which don’t bring happiness—can bring unhappiness. I’ve used Kondo’s philosophies ever since, not only to purge our small house of those things that don’t bring joy, but also to enhance it with things that do. I use it when I schedule my day. I use it when I think about my life. What is truly worth keeping?
A Hobby That Sparks Joy
In addition to being a minimalist, I’m also pretty frugal. I believe that money is a vehicle for storing and transferring my life energy (for a great, iconic book on this subject check out Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin) and, in some respects, the life energy of the world. I know that I’m beyond lucky to have been born where and who I am. There’s an imbalance of resources around the world, and there’s a tipping point to how much more stuff our gem of a planet can endure. When I walk into a big box store full of things, I think about all that. Does this purchase bring joy to me, to the world, to the environment? Is it worth my life energy? I don’t always make choices in line with these questions—because perfection is impossible—but they are there to guide me.
There is one kind of shopping, however, that I adore: thrift store shopping. For me, thrift store shopping is a hunt for a hidden treasure. I love discovering and reusing a gem that fills a need in my life, like a good pair of black pants, a new handbag, or a kitchen container. I find thrifting creative and peaceful. (You can see some of my recent treasures above.)
For a while, I had pretty much given up this hobby. Who has time for shopping of any kind when you have a job and kids and responsibilities? But a visit with my best girlfriends not long ago changed my views. Our hostess—who also runs an Etsy vintage resale business, KF Vintage and Finds—had decorated her home beautifully with found objects, many of which she had refinished or recovered herself. Her house was lovely, and filled with a wonderful joyful feeling. We sacrifice much in the service of caregiving, but I think it’s also important to retain at least some of the things that fill us with inspiration and bring us happiness. These things fill us up, which in turn means we have more to give.
My rules for thrift store shopping are pretty simple: I only buy something I need or love. I keep an ongoing list of things I’m looking for, but I remain open to treasures that spark that happy feeling too. Sometimes the wait is long: It took me almost two years to find the perfect black purse, but when I did it was exactly what I wanted…for six dollars. Now that sparks joy!
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