A co-worker, who lately made it through the "three-nager" year with her own daughter, recently loaned me Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay, Charles Fay and Charles Fay, PhD, and this mom found it magical indeed. There's nothing quite like several years of interrupted sleep, Lincoln Douglas-style debates about donning and doffing shoes and toddlers throwing the food you just made on the floor for the dog to eat for making one's fuse a little short. And yet, the momentary bliss of letting one's temper fly is nothing compared to the sickening guilt that follows. Enter Love and Logic.

The Love and Logic series includes guidance for parents with children of all ages, but as yet, I can only speak to this particular volume. It offers several pearls of wisdom, but my favorite is what I'll call the "key phrase" mode of delivering discipline. Instead of throwing your pancakes against the wall in response to a child's misbehavior (sooooo tempting), you consistently and calmly repeat a key phrase ("Bummer" or "Uh-oh, so sad" you threw food, now you have to go into your room). The child then has to remain in their room, or crib, until they are calm. What's so magical about this? Well, in truth, I don't exactly know, except that without losing my marbles my children slowly become conditioned to this phrase. My son now walks to his crib when he hears the phrase, and I don't have to turn into a crazy witch with snakes for braids. The follow-up, when you retrieve them, is that the event is essentially stricken from the record. You don't mention it, you don't lecture, you just give them a big hug and tell them you love them. Kind of refreshing, eh?

The book has many other sage tips but, for those, you'll just have to read the book! I for one, will be buying a copy to keep on the shelf. 

P.S. - There's also a Website with resources for parents and teachers.